Meo: Age of extinction

This is Meo.

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Meo is a one-year old girl.

Meo is pretty.

Everybody knows it. She knows it. She knows how to take advantage of it to achieve things. She even drew a royal life from it. Every square in the house belongs to her empire. She can go anywhere, do anything, and eat at any time she wants. She is dangerous.

Meo doesn’t give a shit about who you are or how much money you make. The only thing she cares is, “do you feed me?”. She knows one thing for sure that you’ll fall in love with her from the first sight. She will ignore you, as she does to everyone else. You might call her cocky but you will keep chasing her because she is cocky in a pretty way. You keep following her to simply stroke her hair, she knows it and she won’t let you do that. The more you see her, the more you want to touch her, the more you become her slave. She might not know how to love, but she has the talent to use slaves.

The good news is, there’re so many ways to show her your love. The bad news is, she knows them all and she will ignore them anyway.

There’s a chance that she will give you a look, but it’s more like a glimpse. If you try to shake the Whiskas bag in front of her, which she loves the most, you will get her attention. You have the right to think that you’ve got her heart. Yay!!

But the truth is no, not a chance in hell. She seems to care about you (actually she cares about the Whiskas bag but you can take it as a self-happiness) doesn’t mean she likes you. Even when she does like you a bit (I’m expecting to pass this level too), don’t expect her to show you her feeling then, don’t expect anything. You’ll be depressed.

Meo is a royal cat, as she considered herself. She wants to be served, in a royal way. A wise word for you is, keep chasing, stay foolish, and say no to being rude. If you cross the line, she will bite you as hard as she can. I have scars on all over my hands, my arms, my legs, and even my face. Don’t judge me, please!

Meo learns fast, but in her own way.

When she was a kitten, she used to poop in the garden. That explains why it’s nearly impossible to grow vegetables in our garden. We planted seed yesterday, today it has already been dug up. We notice a rare seed sprout today, there is nothing for sure that it will be there tomorrow. Thank god, after a year, now we can harvest some vegetables but everyone is yet skeptical about the quality of them.

Back to her pooping story. On a rainy day of May, she was lazy to go out. then she found out that pooping in the bathroom, not in the lavatory but on the floor, is enjoyable. It looks cleaner and more elegant. Then she decided the bathroom is hers to poop.

There was a time cleaning her shit in the bathroom every morning became a routine of mine. We got mad, but still, she has never given a shit. We had to propose a new place for her to poop, a big bowl filled with cat sand. When she knew that was a much more elegant way to shit, she accepted it happily. We are all good now.

Meo never talks.

Maybe she’s lazy, maybe she doesn’t like socializing. But it’s definitely not on her list of favorite things to do. She never shows any affection for expressing herself, never asks for food. When she is hungry, she simply walks around you yet keeps a distance. It’s her polite way to remind you of your duty. She doesn’t have to say a damn word.

When you try to call her name, she will ignore it. But when she does reply with a “meow” sound, there’s something.

She definitely did something wrong. For example, she has just pooped in the bathroom or she was trying to steal the food. She knows her mediocre behavior is being detected and she tries to disclaim it. The louder the sound is, the more serious the problem is.

Whenever we want to check on her, we call her name. If she doesn’t reply, everything is cool. Else, we have to get our shit together.

Meo loves playing with furry balls, I mean furry balls, literally. If we want to keep her busy, we throw a ball on the floor then it will drive her mad.

Meo loves sleeping, in a box, next to a Macbook screen. The interesting thing here is we never see her sleeping next to a Window laptop, never. What a tech-racist cat!

I don’t know whether it’s normal or not when a cat sleeps more than 12 hours a day. Anyhow, that’s how Meo spends her time.

When Meo was a kid, there were only four things in her life: eating, pooping, sleeping and biting. Every morning, at 7a.m, she jumped on my chest repeatedly. Then she bit me, on my hands, on my legs, on my ears, even scratched my face. By that time, I thought that she missed me or wanted to play with me, then I found out quickly that she was just hungry. “Wake up, my slave, time to fulfill your duty”

Meo is mysterious.

On a rainy night of May, we found her on a railway, little but arrogant and showed no fear. She has some weird behaviors that we can’t understand. We saw her sitting in the kitchen and staring at a hole for almost one hour or digging the garden while observing thoroughly.

One night, I suddenly woke up at 3a.m, slowly opened my eyes. Meo was sitting on my chest, staring at my face. I was freaked out.

Three months ago, we went on a short vacation. We handed the key to our neighbor to let him in and feed her while we were away. We came home three days afterward. We opened the doors and for a moment, we thought that we got lost in a zoo. Meo was sitting there with 7 more cats surrounding. The cats saw us and dismissed the meeting immediately. We were amazed while Meo was looking at us with her naive eyes like, “Hey! What’s up? How’s your vacation?”

At that moment, we decided to stop stalking her catsonal life and settle down with our mission, serving her. “Curiosity killed the cat”

We still believe that there’s a day Meo will conquer this world. That day is very near and we have nothing to worry about. We know one thing for sure that she will keep us alive after her humankind massacre. Because we know how to serve her well.

Why are you so freaking sure? She doesn’t give a shit, remember?!

Her closest friends since childhood, one by one delivers their babies and she is still single. She spends her entire day with us. We don’t know if she goes to the bars at night, we can’t track that. We don’t know whether she is still finding her perfect guy, or she is a lesbian.

Two months ago, Meo was expected to be pregnant with a huge belly.

We fully prepared to become grandpa(s) and grandma(s). Suddenly one sunny morning, the big belly was gone, mysteriously, just like her characteristics.

Nobody knew why, how and what.

Now, she is fit, still arrogant and busy planning to conquer the world.

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