You went to an e-commerce website to buy a headphone, the nice image somehow mislead you to an irrelevant one and you hit purchase, then you see a button called “Purchase by accident”, you immediately thought:
I just clicked on the wrong button, now I can go back. This site is brilliant!
The actual meaning was:
I just did a stupid thing, and now I’m regret!
You were browsing Facebook and you saw an appealing shoe ad with the sales price of $100 on the original price of $250, you thought:
This is a super good deal, I’m gonna save $150!
It actually was:
I’m gonna waste another $100 on my 4th pair of shoes this month!
While reading a self-help book, you thought:
This is great, I’m so motivated now. I will change to be successful!
It actually was:
Nothing new, just a nice written theory. I already knew it but I didn’t practise
When your cat was walking around and looking at you, screaming, you might think:
She loves being around me. She is so sweet!
But she meant:
I’m hungry, feed me now, my slave!
When you had a meeting and the other was still missing, she called “I’m on the way, just 5 more minutes”, you might think:
Oh, she’s almost arrive
But she actually meant:
I’m sleeping, what’s up? Oh shit, I forgot it. Wait a minute, I’ll be there. Wait wait wait, when I say a minute, I mean an hour!
When you felt bad and someone asked, “Are you ok? Do you need my help?”, and you replied:
But you meant:
I’m not fine, but it’s none of your business anw
When you were lying at home, some called:
Are you free now?
No, I’m busy!
Then you were supposed to say:
Yes, I’m totally free but I don’t like hanging out with you, or I’m having a good time at home
Someone asked “Can I borrow this one?”, then you were like:
Your face said:
When you were being asked about your success story, you told them:
Well, I saw it an opportunity, then I worked very hard and it’s got me today.
Your true story was:
Well, I didn’t know what to do then. I picked one random business. It failed. I tried another one, failed again. Then I kept trying. I started from the scratch with an idea about A, then I built B, got fucked up a lot. It turned out that C was the most successful thing and now I’m telling you about D.
You saw a random girl passing by, you walked along an said:
You are pretty!
What you actually wanted to say:
You are pretty. Netflix and chill?
You were browsing FB at the midnight and you thought:
It’s too late. I have to go sleep now!
Then, you realized:
Just five more minutes browsing to see if there’s something new. Oh not really. I have to check email… It’s been 5 minutes already, there must be something new, I have to check it out…
When you started to learn a new thing, you said to yourself:
I will spend at least 2 hours per day practising it. Soon I’ll become a master!
But, the true you said:
I’ll be learning for several days, then unless I have to use it at work, I’ll feel bored, or too busy, and quit.
When you said:
It’s not literally fuck, and I didn’t mean to fuck you, but fuck you!
When you were submitting a request and then a small box popped up:
Please wait a minute!
What it really meant:
Please wait a minute, but remember when I say I minute, I mean an hour, or maybe a year. So, good luck!